In an ordinary situation, the ugly chicken and the innocent giraffe would have never crossed paths. But as the modern technology succeeded to create a marvelous virtual thing called internet, then the two could meet up. It took some months before they finally met. As both of them are often too busy with work or happened to be out of town. First encounter, nothing happened. Funnily, both parties thought that the other party is not interested. After a few polite Short Message Services, a second chance was granted.

The second encounter went smoothly. Some secrets revealed. One knows the other one by his work and the other one apparently has a partner already whom the other one happen to know. Still, it went on. The frequency of courting became more intense from pure pleasure to blossom to the next level. Some situations with the partner moved to another city paved the way even smoother than the toll road.

The pleasure motivation has slightly fading into a more serious phase. But both parties are reluctant to give a name to their relationship. It’s definitely like a marriage life without burden and commitments. Free as a bird. The chicken needs no assurance to possess the giraffe (not exclusively, though) while the giraffe is happy to tag along with the chicken’s romance game. Some trips had been executed to some exotic spots in the world.

The giraffe needed more space and decided that a crisis is ongoing inside of him. So the chicken had to find many possible reasons to visit the giraffe in his new city. It was another perfect circumstances. Until one cold winter day, the chicken came with full of another high expectation after a long while separation. The giraffe said that it was over. The giraffe is moving again to another city. The giraffe is seeing another complicated chicken. The chicken was devastated. The chicken thought that the giraffe might have another crisis and it will be over soon but it’s not. So it was a final call. The chicken has to go out of sight for good.

You can't force people to love. When it's over, it's over. The chicken has to move on. It's not going to be easy but it's a lot better than waiting for an unlimited time of uncertainty.

Adieu, Mon Grand!

It’s winter. It’s cold. It gets dark quickly. People shut the doors and windows and their hearts. Yet, I keep knocking and hoping there might be one opened. I’m freezing my balls off. Once again I surrender to the free trips to get away from Jakarta. The grass is always greener on the neighbour’s lawn. I keep telling myself that I will never go to the winterland anymore and once again the heart beats the brain. The cock is longing for another cock. The eyes are longing for a different visual pleasure. The tongue is longing for another taste. And somehow the excitement has ceased in the skeptical set of mind.

Guys are always single in the summer. In autumn guys are courting and on the look for a potential other half. Guys are cuddling in long cold winter nights. Gym is the most regular place to visit in springtime to work out on the shape of bodies to be ready to be shown off in the summer. Relationship becomes secondary. People are naturally selfish and in winter selfishness is showing off its true colour. No time for friends. It’s completely understandable in a way and I might do the same. Still I’m complaining.

61 kg, kebab overdosed, cheap lousy asian food, and loads of cigarettes. You looked at my profile on a website. I wrote a message to you. It led to sms exchanges for 2 days before you agreed to meet up. You offered wine and show what you do for living to break the ice. I held your hands. It’s pure affection. You have this very sexy shape and in a blink of a second, I wanted more and the next second I scowled myself to be so vulnerable. It might be winter outside but it’s summer in my body for the rest of the night. No more sms.

 

 

I thought I wouldn’t see the sun, the sand and all those glittery stars in the spring time of the French Riviera this year. I thought I would just stay in my rotten house. Just a strike of luck flew me in the best condition ever to Cannes.

I had my own apartment, I had my own assistant, I could do whatever I like. I got the privilege to walk down the red carpet every night if I want to. I got the invitation to the see the latest film of Wong Kar Wai on the Opening Night. I got invited to some fabulous party. But somehow I feel numb.

Of course, it’s everybody’s dream to be in my shoe and I can’t blame them. “Who did you meet? What films did you see? Who did you fuck?”. All those questions were obligatory to answer when you come back.

Am I bragging? Yes, I think I am.

But what’s interesting about this year is that I got to meet people that I want to meet. We gossiped about gay stars and surprisingly there are many names that I didn’t know before that they are.

The bad things were I had to buy a suit for the bloody red-carpet events for each film in competition. I was so bored at the Basement Jaxx party. I chose all the wrong films to watch. Most of them were just unbearable. The films I saw:

My Blueberry Night – Wong Kar Wai

I don’t know what he is doing with his latest film. It’s not a bad film but it’s not good either. It’s the same formula. I think Norah Jones should stick to her dying singing career, Jude Law is passable (but still very sexy with his British accent). The only moments to celebrate in the movie are Natalie Portman’s and David Strathairn’s strong presence.

No Country For Old Men – Ethan and Joel Coen

This is the best film in the festival. Javier Bardem is terrifyingly showing his best. The story is gorgeous and the cinematography is typically Coen. Lovely!

Paranoid Park – Gus Van Sant

Still lovely but still using the same formula of his past success in Cannes. A bit of “Elephant” mixed with “Last Days”. Van Sant seems to master the youth issues. The actor is pretty good and the script is well-written.

Boarding Gate – Olivier Assayas

This is the most non weird film of Assayas. I never like Asia Argento. I think she is a terrible actress and should seek another path of career. The first is boring as hell and it gets alive on the second half. I think Assayas should work more in Asia and use the Asian actors. Look what Maggie Cheung has become.

A Mighty Heart – Michael Winterbottom

Winterbottom has become an expert on political film. In This World, Road to Guantanamo are far from embarrassing. Although I still like his small budget drama films like Wonderland and 9 Songs. You actually forget that Angelina Jolie can act. Winterbottom blends well his political and drama film in this one. Quite cute actually.

Savage Grace – Tom Kalin

Without Julianne Moore, this film will be trashed with a blink of an eye. Moore makes it bearable to sit through. A bit of the Far From Heaven feel. Good looking actors are quite refreshing.

Pleasure Factory – Ekachai Uekrongtham

What can I say but disappointment? I was hoping high. But it’s just emptiness. Not pleasurable at all. A French friend said it’s about post-coitum sadness. I said it’s sad. I think the festival chose this film just because of his achievement on his first film. But maybe I’m wrong. The French love this kind of film.

Ploy – Pen-ek Ratanaruang

Ratanaruang is trying to re-cherish of his glorious Last Life in The Universe. Lovely idea but highly pretentious. Still beautiful cinematography though.

Le Schaphandre et Le Papillon – Julian Schnabel

Another delight of the festival. Exquisite cinematography, Touching story. Great feast of acting quality. What else more can I say?

Une Vieille Maitresse – Catherine Breillat

Now, this is another Asia Argento playing the wicked lady. To start with, I never like Breillat’s previous films. I thought I would give her another chance. I guess now I know I can confirm that I don’t like her style. Annoyingly long and boring and Argento is flaunting all over the place. The story is so classic that I think I might as well stop any period drama movie.

Alexandra – Alexandr Sokurov

Completely the opposite of Breillat, I always fancy Sokurov’s films. This one is a pain though. With all those seducing look of the Russian soldiers facing the camera, it didn’t help me to get excited. The most annoying part is the whispering sound of the soldiers in the background during almost the whole film. The story didn’t go anywhere. It’s just an ordinary film. Plain and empty. Definitely a waste.

Define Happiness!

Why do people always use "happiness" to say they are doing fine, stress free, etc? Happiness doesn't stay for too long. It is like a cat who can just go away deliberately and comes home when it feels hungry or need a bit of affection from the master. It's worse than a cat as a matter of fact. We can't expect  it to come home to us when we need it.  We can't trade it with precious gems.

I try not to use the word "happy" anymore. I think when I'm seriously looking for it, it makes me feel even worse.

My trip to Hongkong was cancelled. The last time I was there was just before the handover to China. It's been a while. In a way, I'm quite content not to go. I need a bit of staying in.

There are only a few cities in this world that can make you feel glamorous. it used to be Bali. It's been downgraded for a few years now. Rajashtan in India and Bangkok are still very much making you feel like Scarlett Johansson. Jakarta also is doing not bad at all. France is always glam. Even when you are only wearing an outfit from the stack of a department store, but you feel like you have tranformed into one of the models doing the catwalk.


I was talking about cities that made you feel glam. How about places? Saunas is definitely in the lowest rank in the list for sure. Going to a sauna is always a battle in my mind first for at least a day before i succumbed to my crotch who always win the battle in the end. Although, Babylon in Bangkok is more than just a sauna.  It changes the mind concept of men who go to saunas only to dump their thick fluid liquid. You can either just relax and read your novel by the pool. Saunas always make feel vulnerable. With an overrated confidence moi, going to saunas means as a reminder for me that I can go low as well. I always think of it as a place where you pay for sex. You can see hungry eyes glued to your whole body, or a severe rejection just by one glance. You have to allow people touching you, rub your cock where usually you will stand at least half a metre away. But then again the cock needs somethiing and when it needs something I have to follow its rule.

If Happiness and Glam united, then it would feel like you are on top of the world. But don't forget that it's always lonely up there.

A trip to India. I can’t say "No", bien sur! It was Mr. DD who offered me last year if I would like to be a programmer of Southeast Asian films in a seminar and film screening about sexuality. I immediately said yes without blinking. As I’m flying with TG, of course I need to make a lay over in Bangkok. Laying over some men sounds a good enough reason.

Arriving at the IG airport in New Delhi. It looked exactly the same as 4 years ago when I landed here. After waiting for almost 2 hours looking for my pick-up driver and thousands of cursing, I gave up and took a taxi. The driver looks like a farmer and smelly and not a word of English. I could smell trouble. After a 30-minute drive and it looks like I was going to be dropped in a remote area, I thought I would end in a gutter with a cut in my throat. The hotel I’m staying is called R…Castle and I was fooled by the name. It was just a basic accommodation with not hot water running. Thank God it was only a night before we all took the coach bus to Neemrana Fort, 3 hours from Delhi.

From the website, the fort looks fantastic. A heritage hotel from the 14^th century. My mind wandered to the time of Asterix and Obelix. Finally after a small climb as the bus was stuck in the narrow street a few hundred metres from the fort, we arrived. The fort is not fantastic, but amazingly remarkable. Films of Desire, that’s what the event was called. I really desire a holiday in this kind of place. My room wasn’t ready while everybody else started to go to their designated room to unpack. The exciting “wow”s were heard echoing from every corner of the fort as the guests claimed they had the best room ever. A room with a view. Ms. Lucy and I who would share a room could just sighed and sipping our welcome drink. Finally, we were handed the key to our room. It was down below near the entrance of the fort. Yeah, great, then it wouldn’t be a room with a view. Sounds more like a dungeon. Of course, My cheeky naughty brains started to fantasize about all these leather clubs where men having an orgy in a smelly damped basement.

We opened the door to our room and voila!....you can see the pics below…

 

Yup! We could just scream out loud. I couldn’t believe that the organizers put us in this splendid room. Even Ms. Natural Born Fag Hag was swearing that she would come back and stay in our room. The room is even bigger than my whole house really. And guess who had stayed in this room? Kate Winslet! “ We ain’t worth it, we ain’t worth it” commented some people with the gesture ala Wayne’s World after visiting our room. Kate stayed here, and so did I.

The 4 day event went smoothly. Many people enjoyed the films I curated. And all the film directors I invited were happy too. I basically cherished the moment staying at Neemrana. I went for a swim, I went with a few people to the old Maharaja’s soldier barrackand water well and well one kilometre away from the fort. And I did try the Ayuverdic and Shirodara massage. I’m used to strip naked in front of the masseur. But this oily massage done by two guys who kept rubbing my whole body including my willy, made my “little brother” becoming the “big brother”. I couldn’t help. I used to be embarrassed with the masseur but not this time. I just wish there was an “extra” treatment in the end but no, they were strictly professional.

 

After staying in the comfort zone, it’s time for a little adventure. Together with Ms. Lucy, Ms. Natural Born Fag Hag and Ms. Tres Jolie, we went off to Jaipur with a rented car. Nobody has a fixed plan. We didn’t even know where we were going to stay. I dozed off almost all the way to Jaipur. The driver kept asking for direction every few metres. We were all annoyed. And by the time we finally got to the hostel we wanted, we were pretty tired, but still feel fabulous. As Ms. Lucy acting as our guide of the city (she slept with any walking dick in the 1 metre distance from her), we ended up having a classy dinner in a restaurant who used to be the palace of the Maharaja. Chic! Nice meal and all that, we started to talk about sex. It was quite nice actually to talk about it deliberately.

 

First morning in Jaipur, we were all geared up for some tourist sightseeing. Saw the Hawa Mahal (Palace of the Wind), the Astronomical Garden (I was surprised how advanced the Indians were in the ancient time, how come they are now so unbearably behind? Only the stars in the sky know) and to the main Palace. We were supposed to eat in another fabulous restaurant for lunch but found ourselves in a dingy plastic covered basic restaurant. Never mind!

A bit on the outskirt, there stood The Amber Palace. Quite imposing architecture. I was quite impressed that Rajashtan has so many forts and palaces. Then it was shopping time. Ms. Natural Born Fag Hag who had a headache since morning finally refreshed in seconds after spending some bucks on bed cover and fabrics. It’s so cheap over here that I became an instant shopaholic myself. Oh dear, I need an extra bag now to go home.     

It’s the Pig Year. Well, according to the right English word, it’s the Boar year. Sounds wilder. As I’m a Boar…and people say that it’s your year. Believe it or not…I’d like to believe that something grand will happen to me this year. Greedy as usual, I’m just taking as many interesting projects as I can. Not good! But they are so tempting…

Financial side, I’m still poorer than the food stall owner near my street. Still don’t have savings. I guess I’m a nature to be poor. Always will be a struggling person. But I can say I’m the bohemian bourgeois. I don’t have money but I do travel. Some people just love to pay my trips. I’m a lucky bastard!

Love side, I think there won’t be much of a change. Still have all these personal ads running in every gay site. Sex side, I’m not doing too bad. Still have a shag or two here and there. Maybe I’m becoming too skeptical about this. I’m destined to be single. No…a better way to say it is: I’m cursed to be single all my life. 

The whole January, I was a good girl. Staying in Jakarta watching the water flowing from the ceilings to the walls. My house is just rotten. Three rooms were wet, so my brother and DJ A who is staying with us had to migrate to my room. A camping ground indeed. There were sleepless nights when the rain just didn’t stop and I was too afraid to close my eyes as the water might have been creeping into my room if I didn’t look. I wish I could just move. But I love that area and I can’t afford to move. While Jakarta is 70% underwater, I was busy looking at the water from above my roof. I hate rain. Hate it, hate it, hate it!

 

My first trip is Berlinale. Last year, I swore not to come back there. I hate winter. I hate the snow, the cold and I can’t show off my latest T-shirt or fancy flowery shirt. So, anyway, I was there. Got another round of interview, got another round of 5-minute fame and that’s it. I was mostly in the film market. Trying to get my 2 feature film projects off the ground. And it looks promising now. I think there were some days I was just floating around without knowing what to do and focus. Big festivals are always intimidating. You always feel lost. But I’m not alone. I could see that there were many other people who were more lost than myself. Some nice lunch with some people have made big results. Now, I’m invited to Mix Brasil Festival in November, Hamburg and Berlin in October, Maybe Antalya in September, also maybe Chile in August. Oh dear! I can’t keep up anymore. I know there are many people out there jealous about my trips…while I myself would like to reduce a bit. I’m older and I need more comfort and more money to earn.

I don’t know why but suddenly all these Asian directors came to me and ask if I could be their producer. I haven’t produced anything so far. No track record but it seems like they all believe I can do it. But at the same time, this is really challenging to put myself as a producer not only from my country but in South-East Asian. The scope is wider. I’d like the idea and I think I should give it a shot. If they can put some trust in me, why can’t I to myself?

I behaved better this year. Only one drunk night. I skipped 3 parties and went back to the hotel at a reasonable hour. I woke up at 7.30 to 8 every morning queuing up for tickets. I had breakfast (which I usually don’t). I even had time to check my emails almost on a daily basis. I also had my daily gelato. Oh my God! I began to like a Routine. No more surprises! Everything is so predictable. The rest of the festival, I was just having sips of drinks. Bumped into Gael Garcia Bernal and as usual, I didn’t know what to say. I just wish I had said something to him. Javier Bardem was at the Teddy Award Party too. He is just sexy. I love his voice.

A long lost friend Mr. Moonlight finally decided that we could cross path in Berlin. It was nice to see him again. He is the one responsible of who I am now. It was awkward meeting him after all these years. It was difficult to reconnect. I knew he’s been going through a tough time at the moment with a boyfriend having a midlife crisis and him about to quit his job. It wasn’t the right time as I was busy concentrating on the festival.

On my last night, I finally met Mr. Cologne. He is more handsome than the last time I remembered. He has this charming smile, and he looks good and happy. But I saw that he was bored with the party and I was still doing my round of saying hello to everybody. So I just sent him a text to wait for me. He wasn’t that sure until I kissed him. The magic of one single kiss. Now, I believe in the Sleeping Beauty fairy tale. He still has those soft lips that are so good to kiss, to munch. Irresistable! We didn’t say that much that night nor did the next morning. It was just so comfortable lying next to him again. I hope I would see him again.

Bye Bye Berlin! Till next time! I really hope it won’t be next year!

Two days before Christmas.  I woke up late. It is supposed to be a catching up day with friends. Got a few rendez-vous. As usual it is becoming later than the fixed time. So, I’m just hanging out at home with water everywhere. My house is leaking here and there. Imagine any Tsai Ming Liang’s movies with lots of water, especially The Hole. There is a bit of wind and a ray of sunshine. Perfect day enough to relax a bit.

A call from one famous producer damaged my day a bit. There was a mistake in the article I wrote. Damn! I thought I wrote it right but then it appeared not. After I checked, yes the mistake was mine. Maybe my mind was a bit distracted when I wrote it (which is a very common case in my frenzied days). This year has been a roller-coaster. I don’t even have much time to think of men and sex. Well, that’s not fully true. Actually I think of men and sex almost every other minute. But then the time is never on my side. 

Mr. Big broke up with his boyfriend. He didn’t tell me anything until I mentioned something casually about relationship. Even afterwards he didn’t tell much. He is always a man with few words. So where is this going? Nowhere. I’m sure he prefers to be single. People can’t rush into another relationship after a break-up. As much as I want to have a steady relationship, I also want to be free. I want an open relationship that both parties can shag around but always come back home to one man. That’s the ideal scenario. Some people think it’s too progressive. Some gay men just trying so hard to prove that they can be faithful too just like in the heterosexual relationship. They want to fight against the stereotypes. I’ve been fighting for all the stereotypes that are put in me but in this case, I’m one of the stereotypes. I can’t be the weirdest person that can’t or don’t want to fit in into boxes that has been created for me.    

I’ve grown more and more attached to him. He provided some comfort that I’ve become used to it. We are two very different persons. Somehow it works out just fine. Maybe the two of us are giving the comfort that we are looking for but at the same time we don’t want to be attached. It’s always complicated. You want something steadier but you still want to shop around. It seems simple because we know what we want and we know each other well enough, it’s perfect. Still there is always a spark of jealousy if the other one meets someone else. Relationship is not just black and white. Too many colours. I guess I will just hold on to what I have and cherish it while it lasts.

First attempt to travel together with him wasn’t the way I expected it to be. It is a new city that both of us never been before. It was raining all day that we almost couldn’t go anywhere. We were both tired from work and wanted to have some time off and just enjoyed each other company. We ended up having small arguments here and there. And the last day I was sick. Is it worth it? Yes, it is still. I got to know him better. His other sides appeared. At that particular moment there was always doubt whether I wanted to go on with him or not. When I’m in a situation like that, I can’t see things clearly. When I’m already out of it then my brain starts working again and I see how precious it was. We both made an effort. It wasn’t only from one side. I appreciated his presence within me more.

The result of running around all year is quite satisfying. Suddenly all these pieces are falling into places. The shape is clearer. I made a great deal of new friends, and a few of future enemies, and the rest are still blurred. Almost every month I went somewhere for different reasons. Six years ago, I thought I would never have a chance to see the world again. I thought I would be just running my family business and be isolated in a small town. I know a lot of people are envy about my trips. I used to be like that myself. But once you have all the chances to travel so intensely, all you want is your own smelly bed at home while sipping your coffee and smoke an awful lot of ciggies. You are tired of airports, reading maps, book your fights, meetings, duty-free shops, different languages, internet cafes, money changers, annoying passengers on the plane, bla bla bla…

18 cities, 10 countries, 13 events, a handful of men, and an uncountable insomniac nights. It is quite an achievement for me. Although I don’t really count men as an achievement. What a life! I believe life has its own way to each person and I’m very grateful to what I have experienced this year. It is like sleeping with the lights on.

What lies for next year? I’ll be attached to at least 7 projects. I don’t why there is always this question about how you see yourself in a few years’ time. I can’t see myself at all. I’ll do a year ahead but no more. You will never know what will happen. I think I’m a bit afraid of the future. Next year should be My Year. It’s the Pig Year. But of course I don’t believe in those kinds of bullshits. Being raised as a Chinese, I put a little hope. It’s definitely the year that I look forward to.

 

 

 

This year is a one hell of a rollercoaster. My life is practically in a suitcase. It's exciting to travel a lot at the beginning but now, I'm sort of burn out. Sometimes I was just hoping I could stay in my smelly bed for a while. But I can't complain. Life has been treating me well. Too well that I sometimes ask myself, "Do I deserve all these?".


My life is getting into a broader dimension, a more focused direction. And I'm seriously energized just to think of what the future will offer. It's like a spinning bowling ball, I'm reaching for a winning strike.


So, after Rotterdam and Berlin early this year, I rolled on to Jogjakarta, Paris, Cannes, and Brussels in spring. Then Paris and Trencianske Teplice in Slovakia in summer. This autumn, I was peeping into Antalya, and Istanbul in Turkey, have a few days of alcohol in Bali. And to finish off of a wild time in Bangkok. Yes, I'm bragging.


I haven't been back to Bangkok for a few years. Maybe 3 years. And I was so excited to go there again. Indeed, it was still as much fun as before, even better. They have the sky train and subway now. It looks more futuristic. And the men hanging out in that soi 2 are unbelievably sexy. Can't control my eyes and hands not to touch and strip then naked. I was there for a film workshop. We were one of the 7 selected projects. There was a pitch in the end of the workshop. And guess what? Our project won! And the travel story continues because of this winning.


By the time I thought I could breath some refreshing polluted air of this lovely Jakarta, I have to leave on a jet plane again. Next Destination: The Philippines, France and Portugal and Malaysia. Oh dear! I'm a tireless soul but tired physically.

It's an irony. Career is going up and up for the sky but financial is going down to the dirt. I'll consider it as an asset for the future. A bit tired being a bump but I have to be grateful for what I can live for for now.


Love life, ask me again next year. But not too bad I must say. I had my share of pleasure. The only to sacrifice is probably my spare time. I don't have any. It's all about working and I work my ass off long hours that my butt is now flat from sitting too long in front of the computer.

After a 10 day Q! Film Festival and months of little sleeps, I finally embarked to the land of dangerous excitement: Turkey. It wasn't really dangerous in the sense like Istanbul where I was 4 years ago. It's dangerously relaxing.

With hours of sleeping on the plane ( I had the luxury of 2 seats for my own selfish self. mmmm....), I was ready for everything.

Being treated like one of the most important guests ( I shared the same flight with Samira, that Famous Iranian Director, who is overly polite and low-key), we were ushered to this funky hotel: Hillside Su

Pic taken from the website

Entering the no-nonsense all white hotel lobby, I almost screamed to see the gigantic 6 glass disco balls hanging low with the fluorescent subdued red lights. I feel like being in a high class brothel with all the dead sexy handsome hotel staff. My sore eyes are healed in seconds. This is going to be a great FESTIVAL, I assure myself.

By John Badalu

Going to the receptionist to check-in, I was served by another beau. "How can I help you?" with his unintentional seducing smile. 3I'd like to check-in withyou lying naked in my bed as a welcome drink! What do you say?". My non-existent sexual life for the past few months aroused immediately.

I entered my room with lots of "wow" and "aaah.." The room is frighteningly white too. It has a big balcony  and a bed outside to be lazy about. This is a serious holiday.

Pic taken from the website

By John Badalu

I didn't come here for  holiday but the swimming pool and the beach have a big universal magnet to draw you anytime whenever you got bored. I deserved this trip. I kept telling myself.

By John Badalu

The bloody government didn't help me, neither did my colleagues. I did the lobbying myself. The business was slow in the film market but all were happy drinking cocktails while talking about business details which you rarely found in big markets like Cannes or Berlin. I'm surely returning next year! Gorgeous waiter, fetch me a mojito, Dear!

And I wasn't alone. Being in the festival circuit for a few years now allowed me to have some friends. There are Jay, a film critic from a famous film mag, Sasa, the Slovak girl from the film institute, Wieland - the important figure from Berlin (whom I kept planning to shag) and of course, the multi-language super woman Ela who was the reason why we were all there.

We went to all these gala premieres on a red carpet every night. Girls on golden robe holding an orange posing like a Greek Goddess fence whose smiles could kill, camera flashes and clappings all over the place. It was a good rehearsal indeed  if I ever made it to that stardom status.

Jay, Sasa and I took a day off and ran to the hills of Thermessos, the ruins of the ancient time. It's been centuries that I didn't do some trekking and this was just wonderful. The Roman Theatre ruins was breathtaking. Can't believe the Romans went this far. I saw on owl for the first time. He was so scared of me in the daylights.

By John Badalu

There were parties every night. Either at the lobby or at the beach. It was fun. Freeflow wine and champagne drowning through my throat. It was fabulous.

One war is almost over now. Finally all the ethnic minorities especially chinese is admitted as an Indonesian citizen without having to go through the damn bureaucracy to apply for Indonesian citizenship and also to bribe your way through to get that bloody hopeless citizenship of Indonesia. It's signed by the parliament one week ago.

My parents were still considered as foreigners when I was born. Although they were born in Indonesia, they were not automatically become the citizen of this country. It was just because their grandparents are chinese. On the other hand, the Chinese government in mainland China never accepted these Indonesian chinese as their citizens either. Of course, this situation was a big hell for the chinese here. They have to apply in years before it is approved to be an Indonesian. And what a price to pay!

So, when I was born, my parents asked their friends (who already got their citizenship) to adopt me legally so I can get my Indonesian citizenship right away. Five years later, the same thing happened to my little sister. We were all given a western or Indonesian name so we can't be considered as a chinese. Still, after you legally become an Indonesian, your ID was marked differently. I don't know if this practice is still on or have been demolished.

One war is done. There are more....

"If you are facing a closed door. You have two choices. You can turn back and go or you stand and fight..." - Peter Thatchell